


Giggles

by A Magiluna Stormwriter (ariestess), Shatterpath



Series: Once Upon an Alternate Universe [4]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Bechdel Test Pass, Community: onceuponaland, Crack, F/F, Humor, Laughter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-29
Updated: 2012-10-29
Packaged: 2017-11-17 07:54:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/549294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ariestess/pseuds/A%20Magiluna%20Stormwriter, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shatterpath/pseuds/Shatterpath
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A bored Emma wreaks havoc on Regina's self control.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Crack Collaboration

**Author's Note:**

> After a hilarious conversation with my partner and collaborator, Ariestess, this was spawned into being. I wrote chapters One and Three, while she did Two. Enjoy!
> 
> This came from a prompt for a crack!fic collaborative effort.

"Ugh, this is so boring. That woman really needs to get laid."

 

I'm completely amused that my lover is squirming like a four-year-old in church as the meeting drags on and on. There have been so damn many of these since the curse broke that they've long since bled together into a blur. With Regina dispossessed as the head honcho, the haughty Mother Superior has mostly taken over, split with James and some of the others who were once peoples of power in the Enchanted Forest.

 

"So, when she was the Blue Fairy, she musta been pretty short, huh?"

 

There's no need to look over at Regina to see her reaction to my blasé comment. I can feel the confusion and what-the-fuck stare quite clearly against the side of my head.

 

"Yes," she drawls reluctantly, but is too curious to just let it go. "About the height of your forearm."

 

"See, that just goes with the crazy scenario in my head. The BF in a meeting and having to hide from someone like... well, you." This time I earn the dirty look, but she's taken the bait now. "And she's gotta hide somewhere, so why not down someone's cleave? That cute lil' face peering over the edge of a lacy bra. It'd be like a Barbie doll in bondage sorta thing."

 

There's an odd, strangled noise from Regina that makes me grin and I glance around to make sure that no one is paying us any attention, here in the back of the church. Then, I lean over with false casualness, nosing her curious face to the side so that I can nuzzle at her ear.

 

"Especially if it's your magnificent rack."

 

I can't help but huff in amusement as Regina leans away to stare at me as though I have gone totally mental on her. She looks torn between reluctant amusement and absolute horror. Can't say I blame her. So, I sit back and drop the subject, knowing that her sharp, curious mind has the cracktastic mental image like a coyote after a fat ground squirrel. This woman is terrible at letting things go and is far too easy to bait. In this case, at least it's unlikely to get me kicked to the couch or turned into a frog or whatever.

 

She fights it, she really does, the expressive eyes flashing and tearing with the effort, but I win out. The strangled sound of amusement comes more quickly than I thought it would and I bask in the laughter and rage in her dark gaze. Still seized with perverse humor, I cup my own breasts to shove them together in a poor imitation of her glorious cleavage and wink lasciviously. The stifled sound is positively cartoonish as it bubbles up from her belly like released steam. Luckily for me, Ruby's head starts to move to twist around a split second before Granny's and I can feign innocence as best I can with the big, idiotic grin I can feel splitting my face and Regina writhes with the effort of not screaming with helpless laughter.

 

It's moments like this I treasure.


	2. Temptation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regina is having a difficult time with self-control and it's all Emma's fault.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written by Ariestess in revenge for Shatterpath's crack fic!

I feel Ruby's eyes on me first, but I can't meet her gaze yet. She'll know that something's up and join in on the laughter, bringing more attention to my hapless state. I'm going to kill Emma for this. When I feel Granny's gaze fall on my face, I can't help another helpless, strangled snort and my cheeks burn with embarrassment. It feels like being caught out by Old Stephen when I wouldn't pay attention to my riding lessons.

 

I force myself to meet the old woman's eyes, blinking back frustrated tears of mirth, and hope my shrug and small smile are apologetic enough. She purses her lips, but I can just make out the twinkle of amusement in those knowing eyes before she turns back to face the front. Ruby winks at me and licks her lips before she suddenly jumps and turns to face forward again. Clearly Granny has chastened her granddaughter, too. At least I'm not the only one.

 

"You are so dead," I mutter in Emma's direction as I close my eyes, trying to breathe deeply and calm myself down.

 

I don't need to call any further attention to myself. I force myself to pick up the thread of discussion again, but every time that damned Reul Ghorm speaks up, I feel the laughter bubble up in my chest. I attempt to cough softly once or twice to calm the temptation to burst out into hysterical giggles when she gets particularly strident in tone about something. This garners me a few more curious stares from those around us, but I just glare back and they stop.

 

Biting at the inside of my cheek, I force myself to look up and at least try to act like I'm paying attention to what these people want to do. Thanks to Emma's influence, as well as my assistance in the ongoing battle with Rumplestiltskin, the good townsfolk of Storybrooke aren't nearly as bent on my death as they once were. Best to keep it that way for as long as possible. It remains a constant struggle not to giggle as she drones on about things I honestly don't care about -- did I sound like that in the town council meetings? -- but I do my best to resist temptation. If I want to truly get back in the good graces of this town and its citizens, I need to make sure that my redemption is rock solid.

 

A soft sound has me turning to glance at Emma in confusion. All of the blood drains from my face as I stare at her, breath choking in my throat. I don't know how she did it, but somehow she has managed to draw a little face on the first two fingers of her left hand, which are now sticking up over the neckline of her tanktop, moving in time with Reul Ghorm's speech patterns. I can't even figure out how she has managed to get her hand up under jacket, tanktop, and bra without breaking something.

 

I let out a softly strangled noise in the back of my throat and find my resolve crumbling rapidly. I try to get a grip on myself, but know it's a lost cause almost immediately as my hands reach forward to press her breasts against her hand in a clear attempt to suffocate the "fairy" between them. My mind's eye clearly supplies me with the image of Reul Ghorm's voice being choked off as I smother her between Emma's pert breasts.

 

And that's when the dam bursts and I dissolve into fits of hysterically delirious giggles. Tears are streaming down my cheeks as I bury my face in Emma's chest, an ill-fated attempt to muffle my sounds. Emma's hand is quickly pulled from its hiding place as she pulls me closer. My own hands slide down to wrap tightly around her waist, and I hold on for dear life as my whole body shakes from the pent-up emotions.

 

_I am never going to live this down_ , I think as Emma makes some sort of apology and ushers me out of the church. I know without hesitation that I am never going to look that damned woman in the eye again without fighting off laughter at the thought of crushing her tiny head between my breasts.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ruby is curious as to what is so damn funny!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't expect this to be sweet and insightful after all the silliness, but I have to say I really like it! Thanks again, Spotty! This was an evil prompt and I had no idea what to do with it. Once again, thank you Ruby, for bailing me out!
> 
> Written for the prompt Blue Fairy- boobs

 

Thankfully, things quickly wind down after Regina's uncharacteristic outburst and I bolt for the doors. If I were any more curious, I’d be a cat down eight lives! Even as the exiting crowd presses into my space, I zero in on that delightful, unfettered sound.

 

Now, I’ve seen more facets of Regina than anyone except Emma. Angry, scared, sweet, lustful and many more. But I have never seen her like this. Emma is half-laying on the dewy autumn grass, resting her weight back against her hands. Her smug is palpable and radiates off her like heat. But it's Regina that shocks me into stillness. Sprawled out on the turf without a shred of dignity, she howls with laughter like a woman possessed.

 

You can almost hear the weight of a bad, bad life fall away from her. At least for these rare moments.

 

Not really a surprise that the Mother Superior appears beside me, clearly all stirred up into a righteous huff. Crossing my arms, I watch Regina with a small grin that comes from the heart.

 

"Hard to hate her like this, eh?"

 

Not just the head nun stops in her tracks as my low voice reaches multiple pairs of ears. Utterly ignoring the crowd, Emma sits up to sweetly stroke Regina's forehead, cradling the dark head to her belly.

 

Before the Mother Superior can speak, Regina looks up at Emma, who waggles her eyebrows suggestively, and the dark eyes look over. Dunno if the head fairy catches it, but I see where those eyes fall and I swallow my own humor. What in the hell had Emma done to make Regina laugh herself senseless over the Blue Fairy's boobs? Oh, I can't wait to hear this at some later time.

 

The look of comical horror on the once Evil Queen's face is priceless and she splutters again, too winded now to laugh properly. Curled up around what are obviously aching ribs, she buries her face in Emma's midriff and might be trying to speak.

 

"What she's trying to say," Emma deadpans, her eyes alight with mirth and that 'dont-fuck-with-me' energy she always has when defending her True Love, "is that she's sorry about disrupting the meeting. Really, it was entirely my fault. Sorry about that. I got twitchy and started causing trouble."

 

for a moment, it looks like the Mother Superior is going to get all up in arms... but she pauses. The fairies gave out happiness and happy endings. I mean, that was what they do, right? I see that in her eyes, a moment of empathy she does not expect. When she looks up at me, I smile warmly, completely understanding what has her so flummoxed.

 

Regina is just like the rest of us, flawed, yes, but actually capable of love and understanding. Laughter has broken down some barriers today, and I’m thrilled for my lovers.

 

Besides, I’m right that she's about as not-scary as a person can get, sprawled boneless in the town hall's grass with her True Love.


End file.
